For years, Nathan kept his struggles behind closed doors.

From the outside, he looked like many other fathers in his community, a volunteer on his local Aussie Rules Football club’s committee, raising two kids, cheering from the sidelines. But at home, things were not right. His anger started to spill over, and the people he loved most were bearing the brunt.

 “I was lashing out and getting angry at my family, and they didn’t deserve it. I just got to a point where I needed help.”

Nathan had been taught, like so many men, that “real men don’t cry.” That emotions should be swallowed. That strength meant silence. But silence was costing him his relationships.

When his anger started to feel unmanageable, Nathan made a choice many men still find challenging. He reached out for help.

Nathan was referred to EveryMan’s Preventing Violence Changing Behaviour program, designed for men who want to change violent or aggressive behaviour. The program promotes accountability, responsibility, and respect, and provides men with practical tools to break the cycle of violence.

For Nathan, it wasn’t easy at first. Talking about his feelings felt foreign. Unpacking destructive patterns and beliefs took courage. However, with the support of program leaders and counsellors, he began to recognise his triggers, pause before reacting, and choose alternative responses.

EveryMan offers this program to help men learn how to live violence-free lives and keep the people around them, including partners, children, workmates and others, feeling safe. For Nathan, that meant becoming the kind of father, partner, and community member who chooses connection over control and respect over harm.

While Nathan was doing the work on himself, he was also showing up for his children in a new way. His son, now 19, plays senior Australian Rules. His daughter, 15, plays in the under-16s. Sport, Nathan says, has been a lifeline for both, not just as a game, but as a place to belong.

Recently, Nathan took this commitment to the next level by helping his local club organise a Mental Health Round. He reached out to EveryMan and encouraged their involvement, taking his growth to a new level. The event raised awareness about the importance of speaking up when you feel like you need help and brought players, families, and supporters together to reinforce the message that no one should struggle in silence.

“Sport opens conversations, especially for young men who do not have the words yet. It is a chance to connect, and connection is where change starts,” Nathan said.

At the club, Nathan advocates for young players to have opportunities to talk about mental health, to find support when they need it, and to form friendships outside of school. For his daughter, the friendships she has made through sport have expanded her world. For his son, it has been a steadying influence during difficult times.

“We were thrilled when the club recently received sponsorship for jerseys, with EveryMan’s logo front and centre. 

It is so much more than just a uniform and sponsorship. It is a visible reminder that help is out there and that it is okay to take it.”

Nathan knows first-hand how damaging the old messages about masculinity can be. 

“My dad is from that generation where you don’t talk about feelings, you just get on with it. But that doesn't work, you have to talk. You have got to deal with what is going on inside.”

Through EveryMan, he has learned that reaching out for help is not a weakness. It is the first step towards becoming the kind of father, partner, and man he wants to be.

“It Ain't Weak to Speak”, he says.

“If you can get into a team sport, you will make friendships that will last your whole life. It is the same with getting support. The connections you make can change your life.”

Nathan is living proof that men can change and that when they do, it creates a ripple effect that touches everyone around them.

For more information, visit: www.everyman.org.au

Written by Stacey Murray